I work with adults ranging from the age of 18 to 105. The people with whom I work have a wide variety of concerns. They may describe their mood, their fears or how his/her partner acts: he/she drinks too much, he/she doesn't treat them well, he/she yells at the kids too much, he/she spends too much time with the kids, he/she is not around enough. The boss doesn’t appreciate him/her; the boss rejects his/her ideas, doesn’t see how much I have done, doesn’t give me the promotion I deserve. Does any of this sound familiar? You've tried handling the problem in a number of ways. They're not working. Together we will focus on ways of changing the outcome by using the strengths that you may not have recognized you have.
Anxiety is another word for fear or worry. In response we may avoid doing things. We hide. It can be specific as in a phobia, e.g., being afraid of bridges. It can be vague. What terrible thing might happen if I go out or call a friend? We might not tell others we are afraid but we still feel fear inside us. Sometimes when we are anxious we become angry as when you child is threatened.
Depression is feeling awful. I did something unforgiveable in the past. I can’t manage what is happening today. My future will be terrible. I should be different. We may try to escape into sleep, food, alcohol, and/or drugs, stare into nothingness or pretend that everything is fine. We may spend much of our time thinking or doing things to push down our thoughts. People with whom I work struggle with anxiety and/or depression and how it affects their relationships.
We all learn how to get along with others from those who have been role models in our lives. Our parents are only one such model, We have brother and sister, aunts and uncles, the parents of friends, teachers, religious leaders,, sports figures, and images on TV and in movies. In watching these role models we may take on their behaviors as we grow up and become more independent, as if they were rules. But these rules don’t always fit the lives that we find ourselves in.